Hope, disappointments and secret pork

Updated: Jun 15, 2021

You know how no matter what happens to people nowadays they just shrug and say: “Because - 2020”?


Well, I haven’t really understood this stance until the day I had lunch with my editor in chief, let’s call him LeFet. When he invited me out I hopped up and down like a toddler on a springy bed with joy, for I normally spend my lunchtimes alone, gnawing dejectedly on bark.


Delirious with joy and hunger I walked all the way from El Terreno to Foners, only to find the restaurant closed with angry black shutters. My heart plummeted from K2 happiness to Mariana Trench dejection. But wait! On the other side of the street was a promising looking restaurant: Las Palmas. It looked like the typical ye olde corner shoppe European restaurant you see in photos, with cobblestoned streets and French geezers in flat caps staring at a bottle of red wine.

The place was indeed packed with geezers, and a flat screen tv covering half the wall flashed away with much shouting and colour.


When I discovered that the cooks and waiters were all Chinese, my mood started sprinting up the North Face again, for I love Chinese food above all things.


Seeing the waitress was like being catapulted back to China: Young with a megaphone voice that could carry plates, just crossing over from screechy Minnie Mouse to full fishwife. Although I speak fluent Mandarin, she would rather talk to LeFet in her very strange “MallorChin” that he didn’t understand.


Then this beautiful guy turned up, a young Manchurian bannerman type with an affable manner and great hair. Woo hoo! Rollercoaster upppp! For I love the northern Chinese man above all men. He understood everything I said of course, and started listing all the cities in northern China.


But they didn’t have any Chinese food. Oh no….